angeleyezz909's Friends

not exactly a newbie here..
i used to post in this community as "hoshinomisaki"
i wonder if anyone remembers since i have been away for so long till i forgot my password.

after a deep thought (or self-talkback ^^), i finally realised what have actually been making me fail to lose the kilos and i want to put and end to it, for good.
i lost about 5kgs earlier this year, but thanks to my housemates "labelling" me as anorexic.. the kilos were sabotaged back on. it is emotional eating but i wish i hadn't made it worse by gaining more than 5kgs D:

as of now..

i'm still 153cm (5ft 0")
HW was 53kg, LW was <40kg.. as far as i could remember. i used to be pretty small.
CW is 50kg. fat-ass, nuff said.
dreading to cut 15kg before 21st b'day - april 2010.
hoping to keep them off for good or lose further if possible.

i hope to be able to keep myself on track through here..
needing lots of will power and support!
wish me luck everyone ^^

metabolism boost?
what is so ugly about me??? why do the guys that i like never want me and the guys that i hate always follow me around?
anyway... i had an apple and a little tiny bit of salad yesterday. i feel like i ate a mountain.
i ate more than a mountain today(binged) yet i dont feel any guilty. am i crazy?
i have been barely eating anything for the past week(except for one small binge) and yet am stuck at a BMI of 18.5!! am not losing anymore. if i ate today wil that boost my metabolism? cuz i did eat. but i had laxatives so that my tomorrow it is out.
thnks girlies <3 and how are you all doing? :)
XX

Hope you'll are doing well today!

I weighed in today at 91 pounds, god, 11 more pounds to go! I can do this.

Do you think losing any more pounds would make any difference to my thighs? Like make them thinner or something? Say, losing 11 more pounds would make any difference? My thighs, currently, are my source of displeasure with my body.

Stay strong everyone!

Alysson.

Current Mood: curious

ooops
as in 45 kilos lol

x

todayy
today i decided i reaallly had to get out of the house
so i went for a walk up the street then met an old friend(extreemely skinny mind u) and she inspired me even more than i already was today.. im finding it so easy for some reason to fast and excercise. today ive eaten grapes and a bit of mango. so that party thing? its on friday night so the 18th. im really getting nerbvous over it becasue'that guy' might be bringing friends and although he used to like me alot. im scared its all gone away. and now my best mate just wants to hang out with me plus we eat like pigs together and ohhh goddddddddd! its just gonna be one fucking mess.

have to fast to wear bikini.
can anyone guestimate if i keep walking/dancing/crunches say one of these a day and drinking water and only eating tiny bits of fruit and vegies how much weight ill lose in four days??? anyone. plz?

last night i weighed at 110lbs and the marker was just under it so im really happy about that. love to make it to 45. anything that can move water weight???

lots of love jess

Does anybody know any good low calorie (easy) soup recipes? >_> ...
Oh & any I hope this doesn't sound stupid but does anyone know how to make soup outof bullion cubes? I'm scared to screw up. Especially in the morning. lol.

Current Mood: Tylenol?

I haven't been keeping track of my food at all and it stops NOW. I don't care that I still have 1 exam... this is ridiculous. My stress / anxiety shouldn't be contributing to my weight, they are two separate things.

Today: 1c mashed potatoes (300), 1 fillet salmon (300), ranch dressing / veggies (300).

Gross.

Hey guys so today was okay i guess. after dropping 3 pounds overnight and getting back to my regular weight of 112 i was happy but was making sure that i didn't gain it back. so I didn't so far i weighed myself at night and i'm 113 and this morning i was 112. i'm hoping i'm 111 tomorrow but we'll see atleast i'm not 115 like the other night . so today I ate

Breakfast: 1 banana, vitamin water (from all the nutrients i lost last night with the laxatives)
Lunch: 2 ice coffees, 4 forkful pieces of grilled chicken
Dinner: 1/8 rice ball, steamed broccoli and couliflour, very tiny piece of meatloaf

done eating at 6:30pm not the best day but i'm sure it was under 800 cals i think. if anyone knows how much please tell me lol. anyway I want to be 105 by christmas but right now i just want to get below 110. goal is 109 by this saturday for my holiday cousins party. hope all of you are well. think thin xo... oh yes and also has anyone ever heard of the RENFREW center foundation. well apparently i'm starting the outpatient 3 nights of week when i get home from my trip to florida over xmas break. Please let me know if anyone has heard of it and if anyone wants to message me anything about it that would be amazing. I'm so nervous. xoxo

30€ shrinking... imagine... nosebleed, running... bah, whats wrong?

hellllooooooouu!

imagine 30€ shrinking in your wash...
yes. thats what i did. i shrunk a 30€ skirt today. i was sooo mad. i only got to wear it twice untill now... can't even slip it over my butt.
now it's bout one and a half sizes smaller and i was so upset until my friend joked about me losing weight just so i could wear it again.
good idea i though... but i need it for new year. that's really soon!
i seriously don't know how i'm supposed to loose about two sizes in 17 days...
somehow i think i could manage if i fast alot and eat absolutely nothing over 200 cals a day. but i'm invited to a christmas dinner at my boyfriends grandparent who live way out, so i'll be spending the entire next weekend over there. hah! now tell me how to keep on a fast or under 200cals without being suspicious?! the christmas dinner at home isn't such a big deal since nobody really cares what and if i eat... but this weekend is freaking me.

ah... i haven't posted in such a long time, i'll try (yes, this time really!) posting everyday, just to keep myself on track.
wen't for a run the other day. was the first time in 3 weeks and for some reason my heart didn't allow me to run more than 4min. it was beating like crazy, felt like it would burst and my nose started to bleed. is it the cold or is it just the cold? because it's not me being under weight or something, because i most definately am not.

i hope everybody else is fine and happy.
( here a little sweetness! )

wish me luck, got an exam tomorrow!

with love, irene.

Current Mood: annoyed

I'm new here
Hey i'm new here so i guess time for introductions.

I'm 19 and live in TX.
I am 5'6" and am not comfortable posting how much i weigh just yet sorry. What are some good indoor exercises? I am going to start walking/jogging more too.

Feeling like a fatass...time to go to the gym. (According to this article an hour of circuit training burns 544 cals!) Found this article you might like. Most of it is obvious and it's designed for people who consume way more but the cal-burning stats on common activities were helpful. apparently an afternoon of knitting burns 500! totally starting a new knitting project hehe.
50 ways to cut 500 calories a day
http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100250356>1=31036
Also my mom told me my sister (who's a model) works out for two hours a day so i'm going to increase my time til i get there. I usually do around 45min at the gym (it's a circuit gym so the workout is supposed to be 35min) so i'm basically just gonna work out til i can't do one more exercise hehe. It kinda sucks cos I can't use all the machines due to a past injury. I do ab exercises at home but they don't burn many cals. And no use having good abs if they're hidden under fat. sick of feeling this way have to get back the beautiful thin hunger feelings.

"Masterswarm"
Hey Lovely Ladies and Gents,

Monday! Fresh start of a new week! Thank God.

So basically I'm still 125. I think it's because I've been eating more because I've been working out more. I'm running 3-4 miles a day (well, every other day). A friend told me that I'll see the weight drop in a day or two. Idk. It's also that time so I'm uber bloated and crampy. So I guess that would have something to do with the plateau as well.

If I don't see a change in the next few days I'll be starting ABC again. I need this off.

Today: about half a cup of pineapple. Haven't worked out yet...I will tonight.

Good news: haven't purged since...ooo it's been a week! Getting back into this no-purging business. Feeling much better.

Love you all, and how's everyone doing?

xox

- Alice

Current Music: Masterswarm - Andrew Bird

I feel like crying =(

Being doing so well with just having liquids and maybe a small serve of a vegetable for the past 48 hours ... And now I just had 2 corn thins. Argh. I know it's not a binge by any means but still *sigh*

Going to go to bed now so I don't get tempted to eat more. AM NOT GIVING UP !!! Back onto liquids tomorrow.

Cals today - 350

Current Mood: disappointed

Hey!
I've been watching this community for about four years? Maybe more. But I've never posted anything.

It's time. : )

I'm 18 years old, 163 cm and 63 kg (138.9 lbs). I don't do running anymore, but I like to walk for hours with my dog. I swim occasionally, it has been my hobby for about 6-7 years.

I study in a high school. This is my last year...

And I want to make a change.

I think I'm going to have a set card (??) to a sports center. It includes 10 times in half a year. I really like to be there, there are so many people having so gorgeous body and I want it too!

My GW is 55 kg (121.3 lbs)

bf, tell or no tell
ok so i'm in doubt...
i'm together for half a year with my bf but i feel he doesn't even notic i lost more than 10 kg:S:S
and yesterday we were talking about what we don't know about eachoter... and i was sooo tempted to tell him i'm not ok about food and stuf... but instead i told him what i used to do like... 4 years ago
i used to binge... like... 4000 calls or something... and them vomit... until i couldn't vomit for 2 times... i freakedout and stoped the once a month binge... i really mis that... but didn;t tell him... only what i used to do...
but i really wanted te be like... i'm sooo happy today because im 55.3 kg now... and lost like 10 kg and blabla go on about it... but i made myself shutup.... and now i'm like.... should i tell him?
but i feel i could better tell him when i lost another 6 kg... because then i'm 49 kg and he can't stop me becomming that anymore:P ahh i dunno what to do... should i tell or not?

ahh well probably better to say nothing.
how are you all doeing^^?

i love my monday! today only 200 cals! and bellydance clas^^
love *hug*
mathilde

Current Mood: blank
Current Music: adelle

I was just wondering, could one lose muscle mass from long distance running? Like from running 60 miles a week or something?

Having some answers would definitely help.

Thanks :)

Alysson.

Current Mood: curious

okaayyy
okay so im deifinatly thinking of getting some laxatives just coz it seems like the answer. i also should have gotten out of the house today but nope same old story. tried doing crunches last night but failed miserably. the only thing i ate yesterday was dinner which was kangaroo meat(relli lean) and some vegies but i felt sick. today im fasting its going well so far considering im finishing my period and all.

this morning after toilet i weighed about 50.5 kg (11l bs) so yaaay thats something.

okay so this is the tale. the first goal was so i can get my belly pierced and it would look really good on a FLAT stomach. but now my crew is like 'planning' another party at the beach and my half bf is coming and last time i was the thinnest but now a thin funny pretty girl is oming that i havent met so im feeling quite jealous. this unknown girl will be the reason for my starving over the next few days i want to be able to wear a bikini. no top. no shorts. god i hope i can do it. im thinking laxatives and cabbage soup diet. anyone tried it?

think ive got about a week or less :(
xoxo

Today is HARD !!!

Did so well yesterday, ended up in the negative cal's with all the exercise I did. Also have been liquid fasting since Saturday night (except a serve of frozen veggies after my hiking yesterday)

Today i've been sticking to just liquids. Had a 100 cal soup and just had an Optifast diet shake 127 cal. Feel quite full now though so I hope it sticks.

I think I just miss solids. But I know how disgusting i'll feel if I eat something.

I CAN STAY STRONG !!!

I'm planning on doing the liquid fast till tomorrow night :)

And hoping to get past this stupid stagnant weight of 66.8kg - 147lbs GRRR !

Wishing everyone luck XX

Current Mood: FAT

sunday, december 13 (please read and comment!!!)
I'll take my time tonight ;)...

I didn't post yesterday because I was out late going Christmas shopping with my parents (since they haven't gotten me anything yet lol). I was so excited! I ended up getting a new yoga mat and two dvds with it--one just for beginners and another with a workout plan for toning and dropping pounds. Woohoo! Do any of you all practice yoga any?? If so, what's it like? How do you feel afterwords? I'm hoping this will help with my terrible back and all my bad posture problems! Anyhow, I gained .6 pounds yesterday, but that's kind of to be expected for me on a weekend. Speaking of which, I also gained 1.2 pounds today alone! I guess I should be glad that it wasn't more since it seems like it normally is on Saturdays and Sundays, but I'm so sick and tired of this. I want to go a week without eating any junkfood--something I've never done as far as I can remember. The longest I've gone is three days, and I hate that. It's so pathetic! I know I can do better than that, it's just that I get so overwhelmed and tempted and I always end up giving in or making compromises with myself. My main problems are in the mornings and then right after school. If I don't eat much (or just green tea) in the morning I always feel so much more confident in myself for the rest of the day and all I think is 'Oh, I can do it!' and happy things like that, but then when I get home and face the situation again I think something like 'Okay, now if I only have this much of this junkfood it'll be okay...' and I don't want to keep thinking like that!! I know that if I had something to distract me it would make it a lot easier. You know how people say that the first three days are the hardest but if you make it after that you're cured?? Well it's just like that for me with food. No matter how much I know it will get easier, I always end up giving in and making compromises. So do you guys have any ideas on ways to keep my mind off food?? Does anybody have any tips in general??...

And I want to thank anybody who reads all of this post. It means a lot that some people read it and I LOVE getting comments. I know it was a long post for me but I'm glad I did it.

current weight-134.8

*~-hayley-~*

i have basically been binging three nights straight and I am up 2 pounds so i'm the biggest fatass ever and i hate myself and my whole day was ruined today the second i woke up and saw that scale. i worked so hard to lose this weight and i am in total up 4 pounds from my 15 pound weight loss.. this is a nightmare so basically i started off fasting then i had to take my geodon with food so i had a glass of skim milk. then i took 2 ex lax and 2 laxative tea bags. i took 1 lax tea bag at 12 and 1 lax tea bag at 6. Lets just say this day sucks i want this food all out and i know laxatives are temporary water weight loss and such but im telling you i havent done them in so long and i just really needed a way to get this food out and i don't purge. Do you guys use laxatives and lax tea? did i take too much today? willl i lose any weight from this. I also ate a tuna and cheese sandwich and a cookie after the first round of laxatives kicked in so i totally defeated the purpose. i got out of dinner by telling my mom i ate already even though she didn't buy it. i'll probably be in an out of the bathroom (sorry to be gross) for the rest of the night so tomorrow it will be okay. done eating at 5pm not touching anything else. I have to be down atleast a pound this is a nightmare. i hate laxatives. how are you all? xo

Sorry I haven't been here for a while!! I ate like crazy last week during finals.. :( And I'm home now! So, bad news is that I probably gained weight, and weekends will be hard to avoid food.. good news is I can continue ABC where I left off. :) Plus gym membership! All I have to do is get my id from them and I'm all set!!

I love you all!

I'm posting some pictures from yesterday. (I'm 5'9 btw, that explains the super long legs.) In October I was 117(LW) but now I'm back to 125. I'm determined to lose at least the 5lbs by 12/24. I'm weighing in twice a week. My next weigh in is tomorrow so knowing that motivates me to be good today.

( pics )

I still haven't weighed myself. It's driving me crazy. I wish had a freaking scale. This is ridiculous. I hate having to wait to go to the doctor's or the gym to see how much I weigh. Well...anyway...I know that I have lost weight because my chest bones are sticking out the way they did before I got pregnant. LORD, DID I MISS THAT.

On another note.... I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I'm sort of hyperventilating here just thinking about it. I hate having the fact that I have a "history of anorexia" in my medical records. When a new doctor pulls up my file, this whole mess of mental issues glares at me from the computer screen. I cringe inwardly and start babbling out excuses to anybody who will listen... "Oh, that doctor didn't know what he was talking about, I do NOT have that. He didn't even have the authority to diagnose me! He was WRONG."

"Haha, anorexia. What. Do I look emaciated to you?"

"Oh, yeah... That whole depression thing, that was from post traumatic stress disorder owing to abuse from my past."

"No, that's wrong. I don't have that. Obviously I don't have that. Look at me, I'm fine."

I do anything and everything to convince these doctors (and anybody else in the room) that I am FINE, I am NORMAL, can't they SEE that? There's NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. The doctors were wrong. The psychiatrists were wrong. I am fine. I'mfineI'mfineI'mfine.

I don't know why I do this. I don't know why I try so hard. But even my mind won't let me accept the possibility that there is anything wrong with me. I know that I have an eating disorder, but I tell myself it's okay, because it's mild. Sure, I've been suffering for eight years, but it's a mild eating disorder and I'm not in any danger from it.

I can quit anytime.
I can quit ANYTIME.

Yeah, I'm just that delusional.

BMI and living after this weekend
if you want just skip the text... i was curious what your BMI is (if you want to tell)
and what your BMI of you goal weight is?
i use this website for it: http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx?Tag=Calculators&WT.srch=1&gclid=COrrnP72uZ4CFUYA4wodBW-hlA i think its a good one!

here i'm again, living!
yesterday i posted about my somewhat ridicilous amount of consumed alcohol and my drunk state, well ok i have a little headache... but its not that bad or anything:) so i'm happy...
still happyer about the fact that i lost weight... don't know how:p but my body must love me or something!
CW: 55.3 kg (BMI 21.3)
Hw: 66 kg (half a year ago)
lw: i dunno haven't been 55 sindce atleast 4 or 5 years
gw1: 55 almost there:O:O!:D
gw2: 52 (an BMI of 20 for me:))
gw3: 50

55,3 kg is 121.9 pounds 55 is 121.25 so thats just an tinybit to go.

so on the 12th of november i said i wanted to be 55 kg in one month.... and i didn't managed... but... i'm close aint i!?!

and today i'm half a year together with my bf:) and he is beeing so sweet to me:) i'm happy i'm with him...! we're going out for dinner tonight... so a little afraid of that... but i gues i;m ok... wanted to be no more than 55 kg at the end of the year, a little less is better. but that means i will be able to take it a little easyer the next 3 weeks... but i'll have to make sure i'm not gaining! and i wasn't thinking this would happen a month ago... but i don't binge that often anymore... because i dont wat to vomit... but.. i really start to be afraid of eating... even at dinner if i havent had anything else yet.. and i'm a little afraid of gaining.... i dunno... thought i wouldn't let myself go there again... but maybe its the best thing for me.
i'll be so happy when i'm 55, first goal weight!
ohh one more thing! i lost since 12th of november 4.6 kg (10.1 pound) and since 19th of octber 7.2 kg (15.8 pounds) thats good isn't it?:O love looking at those numbers

haha well lets see what your BMI is... i actualy prefer to be with my BMI under 20.... then i'm happy:)

love
mathilde

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: carpenters - ticket to ride

I decided that I need a place to journal and talk about my weight / life issues all in one place. I made the mistake of adding too many IRL friends/aquaintances to my LJ account... and now I don't feel free to post there. In addition I don't want to bug everyone here with my huge rambling posts.

Does anyone else have a blogspot blog? Mine is called "Unacceptable."

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